I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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