if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
