I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
