Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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