what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
this hospital has no fireball
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
