A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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