Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
