let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
