Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
