you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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