No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
