I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize