We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
