Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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