There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
