I puked a lego.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
