Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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