I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
