he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
