im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
