Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize