Duck Duck Cougar?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
