so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
