4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
