you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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