I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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