I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
