tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
