the new term for farting is butt boxing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
