he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
