Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
