Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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