There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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