How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
