Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
