ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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