My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
