in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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