I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
