no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
