I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
