Will you blow on my dice?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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