allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
