your thong is hanging out like whoa
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Randomize
