Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
