On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize