I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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