I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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