Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
