Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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