you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
