nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
