we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
