we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
