a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize