the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
