hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
