Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
