Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Drunk is not a location!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
