he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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