Walk of Shame. In a state park.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
